i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm too high and old for this...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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