Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
