He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
