With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
