I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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