he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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