Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize