took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize