Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize