i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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