I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize