i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize