dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize