If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
