nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
