Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
