Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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