my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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