I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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