its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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