who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize