worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
