I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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