I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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