never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
