I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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