i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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