my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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