the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
