We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
