I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
BRING THE BAGELS
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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