Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
