He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize