Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
