I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
