Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
