I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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