So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
