bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
