But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
