Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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