Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
