my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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