Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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