Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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