I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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