I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
