so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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