I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize