I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she was so not down for the gang bang
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
