I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
