Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
