gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
