We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
