Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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