"it" just moved
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
