what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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