This girl is more easily done than said...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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