i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He did a backflip because drugs
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
