theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Damn victory sex feels great
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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