R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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