she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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