The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
