I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
