I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
