There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
