What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
