Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
