Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
